It's Official - I'm Addicted

Is there a 12-step program for those of us addicted to Facebook? I'm bent and broke and I need support.

My addiction started innocently enough. A friend from several years ago sent a note via Facebook stating they were relocating. I had to go to Facebook to access the message. I then had to open an account on Facebook to read the message. I needed to know where this family was headed (in the military community - we're always on the move and you never know when you'll be neighbors again) so of course I joined Facebook and read the message. I took her new information and didn't give Facebook another thought. End of story.



Or so I thought.



Several months later, I received a message stating my crazy friend on the West Coast sent me a book suggestion on Facebook. Strange - but I like to read so I again went to Facebook. Oh, cool, she has a list of books she's read. That intrigued me. I wanted to do that, too. Oh, what's that's - "find friends?" Sure, let's give it a go. With the input of my email address - suddenly a list of about 40 friends and acquaintances appeared with Facebook accounts. The owners of the emails addresses were varied - everyone from people I talk to every day to a little league softball coach from seven years ago. I carefully selected who I wanted to send a friend request to - there is sort of a desperation involved - "Be my friend!" What if they say no? Oh, what the heck - I clicked about 20 potential new Facebook friends.



As I started adding friends - I started perusing their friends. Hmmm. I know some of these people. I then started sending them friend requests.



I started to get new requests from other people. The Spartan would come from work and ask who I made friends with that day. Sometimes they were his friends - but now they were my friends because I had the Facebook account, not him!



Then I discovered pages and groups. One click could bring my entire high school Facebook crowd. JOIN! College alumni. JOIN. The best pizza ever? JOIN! The Things I Would Do to Dylan McKay. No brainer. JOIN!



Now I've got Facebook friends from every part of my life. Grade school. Synchronized Swimming. High School. College. Prison. Every duty station. Every place of employment. I've got relatives that are friends that I'm sure we've never shared a conversation as adults. A couple of kids I used to baby sit -(not so much kids anymore - and not so much younger than me it turns out!)



My criteria for friendship is not hard - but it is solid. I ask myself "Would I cross a street to say hi to them?" If so, then, baby, you're in. Not everyone passes this test. Remember - in my test I would have to cross a street to make contact- so an email requesting friendship is the same thing as minimal effort.



Sadly, your request can be turned down. I've had a former boss delete a friend request. I know this because a month after I sent her a request I noticed the line "add as friend" was back. If you have requested their friendship it reads "friend requested" in italics.
(I told you I was addicted.) Why would she not add me to her friend list other than she's a cold hearted sadistic witch of a woman who is unhappy in her own life and jealous of my stupendous success? I'm just guessing.

I also had a 40 + year old boy, yes, boy, deny my friendship. I noticed him on several of my friends' pages so I requested his friendship. We went on one date. 26 years ago. To a movie. He has totally blocked me from accessing him on Facebook. I can only surmise he didn't especially like "Revenge of the Nerds" or he is in love with me and can't face his feelings. Or both.

I am in total need of help. They say admitting your addiction is the first step. I wonder if here is a Facebook page for this problem.