Maybe I Missed the Memo

Maybe I missed the memo - but did I miss a grammar revolution?

When did the world start alphabetizing the word THE?   When I first started noticing this - I thought it was a random fluke - a stock person had failed language arts or something - but now it appears to be more and more common.  Correct me if I am wrong - but doesn't "the" just kind of get the throw-away treatment?   Such as "Sound of Music, The?"   If not, "T" would be the longest section of any store.   Is this an accepted form, now?   I have not been able to locate things because I simply did not add the word "the" to the title.    Or did all this start with the implementation of THE Ohio State University?

Along with the "THE" faux pas - when did the world start alphabetizing by first names?   I thought, again, proper names were alphabetized by last names.    Sinatra, Frank.  Capone, Al.  Are the younger generations not learning this?    I really don't spend that much time in music  stores - but at Christmas looking for CDs . I couldn't find Bruno Mars or Bob Seger.   I thought maybe CDs are now blase and people only downloaded music - but no - as it turns out I found them both under B.  So, looked for other artists and sure enough - alphabetized by the first name...Chris Brown.  Tom Petty.  Unless you are Cher, Adele or Sting - I think we should go back to the last name first.  I didn't look for Meat Loaf.

I also saw a list of names from my kids' school in first name alphabetical order.   I asked the front desk clerk why it was this way - and he told me both ways were right.   I told him he was wrong.  No wonder it takes forever to get anything done in the office - instead of going to the J file for my children - they apparently sort by first name.   Glad I don't have a Jack, Cody or Maddy.  I'd be there all day.

I don't know when this became the accepted grammar rule and I don't like it.   And by the way - in the 2012 US New and World Report  Book of Best Colleges and Universities...The Ohio State University is listed under O - not T.

And a Good Ken Griffey Day to You, Sir!

For about the last 10 years the third Monday of January is a very special day for my family. No school. No work. We sleep in...and we honor Ken Griffey, Jr. It all started in New Orleans when my middle son, Bub, was in 1st grade. I asked him if he knew why they didn't have school one particular Monday and he announced it was Ken Griffey, Jr. Day. Hence, a new celebration was born.

In honor of this holiday, in no particular order, I am posting some memorable things my kids have said.

Our oldest son, Buddy, is (sometimes) a man of few words. His mantra from the time he could put words together has always been "Be nice to Shane." I don't know what injustices were forced upon him as an infant - but we have lived by these words ever since. Say what you mean and mean what you say - Be Nice To Shane!

Since we're always being nice to Shane, some sweetness must have rubbed off on him at some point. When he was about 7 or 8 we were talking about a dog that I used to have -Teddy. I said he was now in heaven. Buddy popped up and said "Is he with your dad?" Oh, my heart just filled with love - as I answered "yes, absolutely." To which he replied "Do they know Abraham Lincoln?" (I'm guessing they do.)

Now I've mentioned son #2 before - and his shock and disdain at graffiti spelled wrong on a bathroom wall. (I have humongous balls.) The graffiti itself was ok - his displeasure was that the word humongous was spelled incorrectly. Lesson learned - if you are defacing property - the least you can do is spell it correctly!

But, Bubby for all his political correctness has a sweet side. At about the age of 5 we were playing "My Favorite" - where you ask what your favorite whatever is - vegetable, fruit, tv show, etc. I asked "Who's your favorite Mom?' to which he unblinkingly replied with glee "MISS LORRIE." Ouch! But, who could blame him - he and Miss Lorrie had a mutual adoration for each other. But still....I thought I was a gimme!

Now Sissy...for those of you that knew her as a young girl - we were lucky to hear her voice let alone have a conversation. I know that is surprising for those that know her now - but believe me when I say - Bubby was her voice for 5 years! But, every once in awhile she would say something that would stop us in our tracks. My favorite took place when she was 6. We were walking into Target and she had a horrible look on her face and then started crying..."Why would you want to be tortured with your pet?" I had no idea what she was talking about and she kept saying they were doing it next door. I told her no one was being tortured and we didn't have a pet - so we were safe. When we were walking to the car it occurred to me what she had heard. PetSmart had salespeople saying "come in and get a portrait with your pet." Yes, we've had her hearing checked since then.

But my favorite Sissy quote is recent - not from her "tortured" childhood. It doesn't even need an intro...."I do have a good memory. I just forget things." Amen, sister!

And a happy Ken Griffey, Jr Day to all!

Two Sides to Every Island

I noticed my last two posts might have been misconstrued as "un-Okinawan." They were not meant that way - just a little venting on why I should be a Luddite because I can't handle technology - and the demise of the USPS! But, I can totally see where someone might think I am not enjoying my time here.

Truth is - this is not ever where I expected to be at this point in my life! We'd done the Asian thing and thought I'd checked that block. I have a son in college that is now 10,000 miles away - and soon our 2nd will follow - so you might understand the reluctance to jump right in. I knew enough from the first go around that Okinawa is a few year behind - and if I, as the least technology inclined person, feel that way - you can imagine what a savvy teen has to adapt to! But, here we are for better or worse.

To set the record straight here are things I do like about Okinawa.

First - we are on an island. I don't think I need to elaborate. Water is everywhere and some of the views are spectacular. You can be having the worst day of you life, suddenly be at the top of a hill - and suddenly your breath is taken away by the beauty of the island.

2. I have a mama-san that comes once a week and cleans my house. I did fight this because I'm not too busy to clean my own house - and the kids aren't so busy they can't clean. But, after realizing I am giving up a lot to be here - I conceded and she comes once a week. She is the most adorable lady. She tries to teach me Japanese - mostly with disastrous results - but I can say "delicious" and "rain" with no problems! I changed the living around over Christmas and yesterday she told me it was "deluxe." Sometimes she cooks dinner for us - and well, I'm going to love anyone that shows up with food!

3. Sushi Go Round. You push a button and a train delivers your sushi. Even if you don't like sushi - what's not to love about that?

4. Island Gift Shops run by spouses organizations. I don't even know where to begin...Goodies from Thailand, Viet Nam, Japan, Hong Kong and even Germany and England! The merchandise is spectacular, very reasonably priced - and best of all - all the profits go to charities.

5. Japanese radio. Sometimes FEN (Far East Network) plays some horrible music in the middle of the day - it's like club music - which would be fine at night - but not at 3 in the afternoon. So, I will switch it to a Japanese radio station. I can never understand what they are saying - lots of giggling followed by "kudasai kudasai." (Kudasai is a request - I don't know what they are asking for) - and then they will play Rhinestone Cowboy. Very random music. Sometimes the DJs will speak English - but it doesn't translate very well. "Music flavored ice cream" is a favorite and I also like the sponsorship of KFC "Ve do schicken lright." I am not being mean - I think it's cute. One day I also heard the Doobie Brothers. The DJ identified them and followed with "They are not really brothers." Thanks for clearing that up!

6. The activity bus. Oh, praise Jesus and all the saints - why doesn't every school system have this set up? If the kids have an activity after school - sports, drama, tutoring, anything....they take and activity bus home. Mama doesn't have to stop whatever it is she's doing and pick them up! I love this.

So, the next time I am on a hill viewing the ocean listening to Japanese radio while my mama san is cleaning my house - I will have time to go to the gift shops and sushi go round because the activity bus will be taking my children home!

Miss Me/All Mail Has Not Been Posted!

Miss me? I've missed sharing my views to an interested world - I can tell you that! I don't know where the time went - I'm usually much better at communication.

Speaking of communication....Christmas kind of sucked in the land of Okinawa. Oh, the gift giving and receiving was wonderful, the food added unwanted pounds and the decorations were Griswold worthy - but I'm talking about Christmas cards and specifically the Post Office.

When we lived here before - the daily trip to the post office was the highlight of each day. You don't get home delivery over here - you must physically go to the post office. Well, our last tour was well before email, texting, vonage, skype, etc. The USPS was all you had, baby. Every day except Sunday, you trekked to the post office to see what mail you might have. Some days your neighbor asked you to get her mail - she just gave you the key. Sometimes nothing. Sometimes only a bill. Magazines seemed to come all on the same day. But personal letters - nothing like it in the world! Someone actually took the time to put pen to paper. It was a wonderful feeling. But the most special feeling was the yellow slip. It meant you had a package.

Young Marines worked at the post office. I had one neighbor bake goodies for them all the time. Her creativity worked - they would not only call her when she received a box - they would help her load it when she got there.

The most profound thing about the mail - when all the mail had been put out for the day - the Marines would put a sign in the window - "All Mail Has Been Posted." That meant they were done for the day - so you did not need to come back. (And as silly as it sounds - when you are desperate for communication - you check 3 and 4 times a day.)

So fast forward to the present. The Post Office is no where near the happening place it was. First of all - no mail on Wednesday. They don't issue keys - only combinations. No sign saying if they are done posting mail. The only thing that is the same is the yellow slips. There is still nothing like seeing that in your box.

Anyway - I mailed all my cards the first Monday in December. I was very proud of myself knowing that even though I moved 10,000 miles - people would still get a card from me.

YEAH. A WEEK AFTER CHRISTMAS.

I don't know why it took so long to get to the States -but I'm blaming that for the reason we received so few cards. To those that asked for my address - you have no idea how much your cards meant to us. For those still receiving our cards (and please, check the postmark) - I am totally expecting your holiday card now that you have our address. And a little yellow card in my box wouldn't hurt, either!

Luddites...Unite

Oh, for the love of God - all I want to do is vegetate in front of the TV. I can't. Apparently someone watched a DVD last night and the system is still on DVD. Add to the fact I'm in a foreign country, the TV is an early 90's model, the cable information card is in Kanji - and now you've got me writing a blog about how I'm weighing the option of becoming a Luddite.

I am not against invention or innovation. Really, I'm not. I just want to watch TV. I want to turn on an appliance of any type and have it work. That's all I'm after.

I finally got my Japanese cell phone yesterday. All I wanted was a way to communicate if the need to communicate arose. I held out on my original cell phone until this century. Sad as it sounds - I was forced to finally obtain a mobile phone because if the rest of the world had them (and I'm using the word "world" to mean coaches, parents, teachers - people in my children's life.) It was super easy for them to change plans on a whim because they had a form of instant communication. I showed up early, late, and during many a practice because I didn't get the information. What did the world do before cell phones? THEY SHOWED UP AT THE RIGHT PLACE ON TIME!

Anyway, all I want out of a cell phone is the ability to call. The Japanese businesses are very wise. They have a captive audience over here that think living without a cell phone is to be a pioneer with Lewis and Clark. So, your plan includes an IPhone 4 with every option available. I didn't text too often in the states - who am I going to text on this island where I know about 5 people? And to add to my trials - all, yes, all the directions and contracts are in Japanese. I might have sold my first grandchild. I'm not sure what I signed. I still haven't made a call yet because you have to dial different configurations of numbers. I'm good with 7 digits. That's my limit. Any more and I'll go back to using a tin can and ball of string to communicate.

I received an Ipod Shuffle for my birthday about six years ago. It has exactly four songs on it because I can't stand the process of downloading songs. I don't want to drag anything on my computer. I want to push a button that says "record" and be done with it! What ever happened to tape recorders?

Back to the TV. We've had cable connections that offer 500 channels. And that was a low end contract. We usually watch three channels. ESPN is one of them. I don't know what the other two are - but I know what shows are on them. Growing up we had three channels. Channel 6, Channel 10 and Zanesville. Sometimes we could get a channel out of Wheeling and sometimes we could get another channe from Columbus. We got cable somewhere along the line. TBS was the bomb. I think TBS may be one of the channels we routinely watch. It shows "The Office" a lot.

I think our cable here in Okinawa gets 75 channels. When we lived here before - we got one channel - The Far East Network - and you watched what was on. It didn't matter that Silver Spoons had been off the air for six years. You enjoyed it and anticipated the airing of the show! Of these 75 channels - I have watched A&E - Toddlers and Tiaras, and Bon Jovi on David Letterman. The kids have watched Comedy Central. Hubby is excited because we get the Big Ten network - although he has yet to watch anything. I might watch something else - if I could just figure out how to get the TV to work.

Happy Mother's Day

Three Things I Didn't Learn From My Mother


Every late spring/early summer I would hear mom rustling around in her closet - and inevitability - her summer sandals would make an appearance. I loved these sandals - not because it was the advent of warm weather - but because these sandals were probably the least practical shoes my mother owned. They were tan, open toed, of course, and had different tile like colors on the top. The heal wasn't very high - but I loved the sound of the clacking when she walked. Years later - I can imagine she still has these shoes. Each fall she stored them back in tissue in probably the original shoe box and saved them for the next warm season. I don't think I have ever stored a pair of shoes in a shoebox, ever. Wherever they land on my closet floor is where they stay - and that is if they even make it to the closet.




I don't remember my mother ever just sitting and watching TV or chit chatting. Oh, the TV may have been on but she was always crocheting or doing some type of needlecraft. Growing up I didn't appreciate her talents and would sometimes wrap my dog in one of her crocheted afghans or I would use one for a towel as I caught some sun on the patio. She made these gold beady things that were put over jars and dishes - they were gorgeous albeit hard to explain. My sister and I pulled our hair up on top of our heads and covered the bun with her creations always stretching them out. I can't sew, crochet, knit, or any other hand craft. The afghan she crocheted for my first son will never be used - it is the only piece of handicraft I think that we didn't destroy!



My mother also apparently either had access to more hours in a day or made the most of her allotted time! She was a nurse and on the days she worked - she would always have dinner ready before she left in the morning. Even if she wasn't working - dinner was in the oven by the time we got home from school. After a jaunt to the grocery - she was always chopping and dicing. I might cut celery if we're having a party - but it usually stays in stalk form until I need it for a chicken salad.


Three Things My Mother Did Teach Me



That coupon hoarders show absolutely kills me. My mom has always been a coupon queen. Now, she never saved $700 in a single Kroger visit - but in her time - she could do some damage! She was and is very practical - and had a what she called her "blizzard supply" in the basement. It consisted of 50-100 different kinds of jars and cans at any given time. Anything from spaghetti sauce to canned frosting. The bathroom closet was the same way - soaps, lotions, shampoos - all from her couponing madness. I appreciate she took the time and energy to show me how this saving business works. The guilt eats me alive if I happen to go the grocery without my coupons.




If we had a blizzard supply in the basement - we had a container bonanza in the garage! The woman saved every type of glass jar or plastic container that was empty! I laugh when I think of this - some of our cereal bowls were actually containers that once held butter and we had juice glasses that were originally some type of cheese dip. They were meant to be reused in these fashions - so some companies were green before it was cool to be earth friendly. I don't know what ever happened to those collection of Cool Whip containers, though. Although I don't keep all sizes and shapes of jars and containers - I do recycle thanks to her early efforts of cleaning up the earth.



Every single time someone poured a drink in the kitchen whether it be iced tea, Pepsi or milk - Mom's radar would hone in and you would hear "Pour it over the sink!" It didn't matter if she was in the basement, down the street or saying the Rosary at church - she would just know you were pouring grape juice into one of those cheese jars in front of the refrigerator! Every night as I Swiffer my kitchen floor of sticky beverage residue - I silently curse myself for not making this a rule in my house.


Three Things I'm In Agreement With My Mother


Mom used to have "funny" rules - and they used to drive me crazy. If I was leaving the house my coat had to be buttoned, zipped, belted or whatever - because "You look cheap if your coat is opened." I don't know where this logic came from, and I can assure you as soon as I was out of sight - the coat was open - probably more out of spite than comfort. But you know what - I don't know if women necessarily look "cheap" with an open coat - but they sure look sloppy. Score one for Mom!



Cleavage was never to be on display whether you were wearing a bathing suit, v neck sweater or strapless prom dress. She used to threaten to pin a rose to our bosom area if even a hint of cleave was showing. While I used to think she was a Purtian - I find myself searching for scarves, pins, corsages, shawls - anything to cover the breasts of these young girls running around today. Jeez, girls! Leave something to the imagination! Mom - 2.




If my mom thought I was hanging around someone that could possibly be a bad influence - she would call that person "an occasion to sin." I thought this was hysterical - what a funny way to say I wasn't allowed to do something - because they might make me sin. Oh, that woman knew what she was talking about. Years later I often tell my own kids - if you have to sneak, lie, cover your tracks - is the friendship worth it? Mom said it much quainter. Mom wins.

Editing Drama

I can't edit my last post. I am a huge believer in paragraphs. Please don't let Sisters Renita or Mary Rose read this and think I learned nothing.