Oh, for the love of God - all I want to do is vegetate in front of the TV. I can't. Apparently someone watched a DVD last night and the system is still on DVD. Add to the fact I'm in a foreign country, the TV is an early 90's model, the cable information card is in Kanji - and now you've got me writing a blog about how I'm weighing the option of becoming a Luddite.
I am not against invention or innovation. Really, I'm not. I just want to watch TV. I want to turn on an appliance of any type and have it work. That's all I'm after.
I finally got my Japanese cell phone yesterday. All I wanted was a way to communicate if the need to communicate arose. I held out on my original cell phone until this century. Sad as it sounds - I was forced to finally obtain a mobile phone because if the rest of the world had them (and I'm using the word "world" to mean coaches, parents, teachers - people in my children's life.) It was super easy for them to change plans on a whim because they had a form of instant communication. I showed up early, late, and during many a practice because I didn't get the information. What did the world do before cell phones? THEY SHOWED UP AT THE RIGHT PLACE ON TIME!
Anyway, all I want out of a cell phone is the ability to call. The Japanese businesses are very wise. They have a captive audience over here that think living without a cell phone is to be a pioneer with Lewis and Clark. So, your plan includes an IPhone 4 with every option available. I didn't text too often in the states - who am I going to text on this island where I know about 5 people? And to add to my trials - all, yes, all the directions and contracts are in Japanese. I might have sold my first grandchild. I'm not sure what I signed. I still haven't made a call yet because you have to dial different configurations of numbers. I'm good with 7 digits. That's my limit. Any more and I'll go back to using a tin can and ball of string to communicate.
I received an Ipod Shuffle for my birthday about six years ago. It has exactly four songs on it because I can't stand the process of downloading songs. I don't want to drag anything on my computer. I want to push a button that says "record" and be done with it! What ever happened to tape recorders?
Back to the TV. We've had cable connections that offer 500 channels. And that was a low end contract. We usually watch three channels. ESPN is one of them. I don't know what the other two are - but I know what shows are on them. Growing up we had three channels. Channel 6, Channel 10 and Zanesville. Sometimes we could get a channel out of Wheeling and sometimes we could get another channe from Columbus. We got cable somewhere along the line. TBS was the bomb. I think TBS may be one of the channels we routinely watch. It shows "The Office" a lot.
I think our cable here in Okinawa gets 75 channels. When we lived here before - we got one channel - The Far East Network - and you watched what was on. It didn't matter that Silver Spoons had been off the air for six years. You enjoyed it and anticipated the airing of the show! Of these 75 channels - I have watched A&E - Toddlers and Tiaras, and Bon Jovi on David Letterman. The kids have watched Comedy Central. Hubby is excited because we get the Big Ten network - although he has yet to watch anything. I might watch something else - if I could just figure out how to get the TV to work.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Happy Mother's Day
Three Things I Didn't Learn From My Mother
Every late spring/early summer I would hear mom rustling around in her closet - and inevitability - her summer sandals would make an appearance. I loved these sandals - not because it was the advent of warm weather - but because these sandals were probably the least practical shoes my mother owned. They were tan, open toed, of course, and had different tile like colors on the top. The heal wasn't very high - but I loved the sound of the clacking when she walked. Years later - I can imagine she still has these shoes. Each fall she stored them back in tissue in probably the original shoe box and saved them for the next warm season. I don't think I have ever stored a pair of shoes in a shoebox, ever. Wherever they land on my closet floor is where they stay - and that is if they even make it to the closet.
I don't remember my mother ever just sitting and watching TV or chit chatting. Oh, the TV may have been on but she was always crocheting or doing some type of needlecraft. Growing up I didn't appreciate her talents and would sometimes wrap my dog in one of her crocheted afghans or I would use one for a towel as I caught some sun on the patio. She made these gold beady things that were put over jars and dishes - they were gorgeous albeit hard to explain. My sister and I pulled our hair up on top of our heads and covered the bun with her creations always stretching them out. I can't sew, crochet, knit, or any other hand craft. The afghan she crocheted for my first son will never be used - it is the only piece of handicraft I think that we didn't destroy!
My mother also apparently either had access to more hours in a day or made the most of her allotted time! She was a nurse and on the days she worked - she would always have dinner ready before she left in the morning. Even if she wasn't working - dinner was in the oven by the time we got home from school. After a jaunt to the grocery - she was always chopping and dicing. I might cut celery if we're having a party - but it usually stays in stalk form until I need it for a chicken salad.
Three Things My Mother Did Teach Me
That coupon hoarders show absolutely kills me. My mom has always been a coupon queen. Now, she never saved $700 in a single Kroger visit - but in her time - she could do some damage! She was and is very practical - and had a what she called her "blizzard supply" in the basement. It consisted of 50-100 different kinds of jars and cans at any given time. Anything from spaghetti sauce to canned frosting. The bathroom closet was the same way - soaps, lotions, shampoos - all from her couponing madness. I appreciate she took the time and energy to show me how this saving business works. The guilt eats me alive if I happen to go the grocery without my coupons.
If we had a blizzard supply in the basement - we had a container bonanza in the garage! The woman saved every type of glass jar or plastic container that was empty! I laugh when I think of this - some of our cereal bowls were actually containers that once held butter and we had juice glasses that were originally some type of cheese dip. They were meant to be reused in these fashions - so some companies were green before it was cool to be earth friendly. I don't know what ever happened to those collection of Cool Whip containers, though. Although I don't keep all sizes and shapes of jars and containers - I do recycle thanks to her early efforts of cleaning up the earth.
Every single time someone poured a drink in the kitchen whether it be iced tea, Pepsi or milk - Mom's radar would hone in and you would hear "Pour it over the sink!" It didn't matter if she was in the basement, down the street or saying the Rosary at church - she would just know you were pouring grape juice into one of those cheese jars in front of the refrigerator! Every night as I Swiffer my kitchen floor of sticky beverage residue - I silently curse myself for not making this a rule in my house.
Three Things I'm In Agreement With My Mother
Mom used to have "funny" rules - and they used to drive me crazy. If I was leaving the house my coat had to be buttoned, zipped, belted or whatever - because "You look cheap if your coat is opened." I don't know where this logic came from, and I can assure you as soon as I was out of sight - the coat was open - probably more out of spite than comfort. But you know what - I don't know if women necessarily look "cheap" with an open coat - but they sure look sloppy. Score one for Mom!
Cleavage was never to be on display whether you were wearing a bathing suit, v neck sweater or strapless prom dress. She used to threaten to pin a rose to our bosom area if even a hint of cleave was showing. While I used to think she was a Purtian - I find myself searching for scarves, pins, corsages, shawls - anything to cover the breasts of these young girls running around today. Jeez, girls! Leave something to the imagination! Mom - 2.
If my mom thought I was hanging around someone that could possibly be a bad influence - she would call that person "an occasion to sin." I thought this was hysterical - what a funny way to say I wasn't allowed to do something - because they might make me sin. Oh, that woman knew what she was talking about. Years later I often tell my own kids - if you have to sneak, lie, cover your tracks - is the friendship worth it? Mom said it much quainter. Mom wins.
Every late spring/early summer I would hear mom rustling around in her closet - and inevitability - her summer sandals would make an appearance. I loved these sandals - not because it was the advent of warm weather - but because these sandals were probably the least practical shoes my mother owned. They were tan, open toed, of course, and had different tile like colors on the top. The heal wasn't very high - but I loved the sound of the clacking when she walked. Years later - I can imagine she still has these shoes. Each fall she stored them back in tissue in probably the original shoe box and saved them for the next warm season. I don't think I have ever stored a pair of shoes in a shoebox, ever. Wherever they land on my closet floor is where they stay - and that is if they even make it to the closet.
I don't remember my mother ever just sitting and watching TV or chit chatting. Oh, the TV may have been on but she was always crocheting or doing some type of needlecraft. Growing up I didn't appreciate her talents and would sometimes wrap my dog in one of her crocheted afghans or I would use one for a towel as I caught some sun on the patio. She made these gold beady things that were put over jars and dishes - they were gorgeous albeit hard to explain. My sister and I pulled our hair up on top of our heads and covered the bun with her creations always stretching them out. I can't sew, crochet, knit, or any other hand craft. The afghan she crocheted for my first son will never be used - it is the only piece of handicraft I think that we didn't destroy!
My mother also apparently either had access to more hours in a day or made the most of her allotted time! She was a nurse and on the days she worked - she would always have dinner ready before she left in the morning. Even if she wasn't working - dinner was in the oven by the time we got home from school. After a jaunt to the grocery - she was always chopping and dicing. I might cut celery if we're having a party - but it usually stays in stalk form until I need it for a chicken salad.
Three Things My Mother Did Teach Me
That coupon hoarders show absolutely kills me. My mom has always been a coupon queen. Now, she never saved $700 in a single Kroger visit - but in her time - she could do some damage! She was and is very practical - and had a what she called her "blizzard supply" in the basement. It consisted of 50-100 different kinds of jars and cans at any given time. Anything from spaghetti sauce to canned frosting. The bathroom closet was the same way - soaps, lotions, shampoos - all from her couponing madness. I appreciate she took the time and energy to show me how this saving business works. The guilt eats me alive if I happen to go the grocery without my coupons.
If we had a blizzard supply in the basement - we had a container bonanza in the garage! The woman saved every type of glass jar or plastic container that was empty! I laugh when I think of this - some of our cereal bowls were actually containers that once held butter and we had juice glasses that were originally some type of cheese dip. They were meant to be reused in these fashions - so some companies were green before it was cool to be earth friendly. I don't know what ever happened to those collection of Cool Whip containers, though. Although I don't keep all sizes and shapes of jars and containers - I do recycle thanks to her early efforts of cleaning up the earth.
Every single time someone poured a drink in the kitchen whether it be iced tea, Pepsi or milk - Mom's radar would hone in and you would hear "Pour it over the sink!" It didn't matter if she was in the basement, down the street or saying the Rosary at church - she would just know you were pouring grape juice into one of those cheese jars in front of the refrigerator! Every night as I Swiffer my kitchen floor of sticky beverage residue - I silently curse myself for not making this a rule in my house.
Three Things I'm In Agreement With My Mother
Mom used to have "funny" rules - and they used to drive me crazy. If I was leaving the house my coat had to be buttoned, zipped, belted or whatever - because "You look cheap if your coat is opened." I don't know where this logic came from, and I can assure you as soon as I was out of sight - the coat was open - probably more out of spite than comfort. But you know what - I don't know if women necessarily look "cheap" with an open coat - but they sure look sloppy. Score one for Mom!
Cleavage was never to be on display whether you were wearing a bathing suit, v neck sweater or strapless prom dress. She used to threaten to pin a rose to our bosom area if even a hint of cleave was showing. While I used to think she was a Purtian - I find myself searching for scarves, pins, corsages, shawls - anything to cover the breasts of these young girls running around today. Jeez, girls! Leave something to the imagination! Mom - 2.
If my mom thought I was hanging around someone that could possibly be a bad influence - she would call that person "an occasion to sin." I thought this was hysterical - what a funny way to say I wasn't allowed to do something - because they might make me sin. Oh, that woman knew what she was talking about. Years later I often tell my own kids - if you have to sneak, lie, cover your tracks - is the friendship worth it? Mom said it much quainter. Mom wins.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Editing Drama
I can't edit my last post. I am a huge believer in paragraphs. Please don't let Sisters Renita or Mary Rose read this and think I learned nothing.
Moving Moving Moving
Spring Cleaning! Whooooooo Whoooooooo! I love this time of year! Throw the windows open - pour a little Lysol down the sink...Get rid of the crap that we've been tripping over all winter...put stuff away to deal with next spring cleaning....oh, wait. I can't do that this year, we are moving. True - I move a lot - about every 24 - 36 months. You would think I would have this down to a science - but somehow the strangest possessions keep following us from location to location. I always have a long purging process before we move - and I do get rid of a lot of crap - everything from old soccer cleats to last year's must have Jasmine Springtime candle from a homecoming formal to a box of salted fish. Yet, I still have this junk that continues to move with me.
This includes: 1. A pair of pink bobby sox that I'm not sure were ever in style. 2. A jar of cumin from the Tarawa Terrace Commissary. (Commissary no longer exists) 3. Black Christmas flats with embroidered candy canes. (They'll be cute when I'm 70) 4. My punch bowl and 36 punch glasses. I haven't served punch since 1995. 5. Wine with Anything lipstick that goes with nothing. 6. Hair curlers. Not hot rollers - actual plastic curlers. I think they were once my mom's. 7. My ghetto blaster from college. The tape recorder hasn't worked for years and the volume is permanently set out "2." This is just a sample of things that I can't seem to get rid of.
I also have a collection of things I will never get rid of. I don't even see these things for years at a time - but I know I have them should I ever need them. Among these gems: 1. A stuffed banana called Anna Banana. (it works great for bunko!) 2. My varsity jacket (came in handy when Sissy received hers - and hubby has his too, so this isn't really a fighting point) 3. All of my albums, cassettes and 45's. True, I don't have a record player - but, but nothing, nothing, is better than folding out "Frampton Comes Alive!") 4. Yearbooks, photo albums, scrap books, etc. I keep everything and I know exactly where to find what I need. 5. Every pair of glasses I have ever owned.
The problem is - we can only take a limited amount of weight with us and the rest has to go to non-temporary storage. We won't have access to anything in storage for three years. I guess I'll just hope pink socks and hair curlers don't make a comeback. But, I'll take Wine with Everything just to be safe. And the lipstick, too.
This includes: 1. A pair of pink bobby sox that I'm not sure were ever in style. 2. A jar of cumin from the Tarawa Terrace Commissary. (Commissary no longer exists) 3. Black Christmas flats with embroidered candy canes. (They'll be cute when I'm 70) 4. My punch bowl and 36 punch glasses. I haven't served punch since 1995. 5. Wine with Anything lipstick that goes with nothing. 6. Hair curlers. Not hot rollers - actual plastic curlers. I think they were once my mom's. 7. My ghetto blaster from college. The tape recorder hasn't worked for years and the volume is permanently set out "2." This is just a sample of things that I can't seem to get rid of.
I also have a collection of things I will never get rid of. I don't even see these things for years at a time - but I know I have them should I ever need them. Among these gems: 1. A stuffed banana called Anna Banana. (it works great for bunko!) 2. My varsity jacket (came in handy when Sissy received hers - and hubby has his too, so this isn't really a fighting point) 3. All of my albums, cassettes and 45's. True, I don't have a record player - but, but nothing, nothing, is better than folding out "Frampton Comes Alive!") 4. Yearbooks, photo albums, scrap books, etc. I keep everything and I know exactly where to find what I need. 5. Every pair of glasses I have ever owned.
The problem is - we can only take a limited amount of weight with us and the rest has to go to non-temporary storage. We won't have access to anything in storage for three years. I guess I'll just hope pink socks and hair curlers don't make a comeback. But, I'll take Wine with Everything just to be safe. And the lipstick, too.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
I'm officially a prude....Whips and Chains Don't Excite Me
It's been a long time coming...but the day has finally come to admit - I am officially a prude.
It all started as I was taking three kids to an early morning activity at school. It was still dark out, kind of drizzly - and I had to cross traffic to get to their school. A song is on the radio and I kind of like the sound, so I turned it up. I could feel my head bobbing - I needed to wake up - I guess this song, sung by a girl, was as good as a way to wake up as any. And then....oh my god....did she just say what I thought she said? Next line - ok - maybe I was mistaken. Then the coupe de grace...."But chains and whips excite me." I quickly turned the channel on the radio.
I forgot about it for a few days then I got stopped at a train crossing. Same thing - kind of a cool song - then I actually did a double take again. There is no way I heard what I heard.
"Cause I may be bad,
but I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don't care,
I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me"
My daughter listens to this song!!!!!
Now, really, I do like the song - there isn't much to it - and it'd probably be great to dance to or whatever. And if you are a consenting adult .....hey - go for it. But does my 15 year old need to be singing to the smell of sex and whips and chains?
I'm sure this is an old topic - I'm sure Mom probably exclaimed to Dad "Did you hear that? Make a little love? Get down tonight? Filth, Dick, pure filth." KC and the Sunshine Band's song is kind of quaint by today's standards.
After hearing the song - I You Tubed it. If you want to see a degrading video - this is the video to see. Again, if you are an adult and are mature enough to explore your sexuality - giddy up. If you are a young girl - I would be confused as hell. Why is she dressed in latex walking a man on a leash? Is this something you need to be thinking about at 15?
So, as much as I hate to admit...I am a prude....but, I am proud to say....I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it.
It all started as I was taking three kids to an early morning activity at school. It was still dark out, kind of drizzly - and I had to cross traffic to get to their school. A song is on the radio and I kind of like the sound, so I turned it up. I could feel my head bobbing - I needed to wake up - I guess this song, sung by a girl, was as good as a way to wake up as any. And then....oh my god....did she just say what I thought she said? Next line - ok - maybe I was mistaken. Then the coupe de grace...."But chains and whips excite me." I quickly turned the channel on the radio.
I forgot about it for a few days then I got stopped at a train crossing. Same thing - kind of a cool song - then I actually did a double take again. There is no way I heard what I heard.
"Cause I may be bad,
but I'm perfectly good at it
Sex in the air, I don't care,
I love the smell of it
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But chains and whips excite me"
My daughter listens to this song!!!!!
Now, really, I do like the song - there isn't much to it - and it'd probably be great to dance to or whatever. And if you are a consenting adult .....hey - go for it. But does my 15 year old need to be singing to the smell of sex and whips and chains?
I'm sure this is an old topic - I'm sure Mom probably exclaimed to Dad "Did you hear that? Make a little love? Get down tonight? Filth, Dick, pure filth." KC and the Sunshine Band's song is kind of quaint by today's standards.
After hearing the song - I You Tubed it. If you want to see a degrading video - this is the video to see. Again, if you are an adult and are mature enough to explore your sexuality - giddy up. If you are a young girl - I would be confused as hell. Why is she dressed in latex walking a man on a leash? Is this something you need to be thinking about at 15?
So, as much as I hate to admit...I am a prude....but, I am proud to say....I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
And would you like insurance with that?
CRAZY!
Sissy and I went on our annual Super Bowl Shopping Spree. It's funny how this annual event started with me just not wanting to be home during the Super Bowl and has evolved into me spending money on my daughter. Oh well. She's happy and I don't have to watch the game. Someone's happy!
Last year's shopping spree, for those of you that remember reading about it, my senses were assaulted! This year, either I've adapted to the music and the smells - but this year my good sense was assaulted - literally!
We went to a mall - and I think we ended up buying merchandise in 8 or 9 stores. Everything from department stores like Penneys to boutique type stores like Teaopia. We got some great deals and really, as much as I hate shopping - we did have a nice time. But, without fail - each time I approached a register to purchase our goods - the clerk tried to sell me something else. Not necessarily merchandise - but additional charge cards, service protection or in one bizarre case - theft protection. I declined everything but after about round 2 - it go annoying.
Just sell me what I want and leave me alone. I don't mind if the cashier says something like "did you see the shoes that match this purse?" - that's fine - maybe I didn't and we all know you can't have too many shoes. But don't ask me to buy a rewards card, insurance, give you my email address or fill out a survey. And while were on that - don't give me six different receipts with coupons that I have to spend $250 worth of jewelry at Sears to save $5.
Why do I get so uptight about all these offers? Glad you asked. I just want you to focus on what I am buying - not new goods and services. I had to go back to two stores because they forgot to remove the theft device. Another they forgot to run my gift card. And in the last, they didn't give me back my credit card. How about we just focus on the transaction at hand.
And these coupons.....bait and switch....I don't know what you want to call them. Especially Macy's. I do like Macy's - and shop there a lot - but they always send these coupons that at face value look fabulous. Save 20% shopping spree. Then you turn the coupon over and everything in the store is an asteric except for maybe clearance item underwear. What's the point? This particular day if you wore red - you were supposed to receive an additional 10% off your purchase. Only if you didn't use your Macy's card. What the hell.
How about just price everything the same for everyone? No special offers or discounts. Just one price for everyone that shops. It's not that hard.
Anyway, yesterday I went to the post office - probably hands down my least favorite place on earth. I'm sending my taxes to our accountant. It's a manila envelope full of papers. No, no explosives, liquids, chemicals. No delivery confirmation (HUGE SCAM), no insurance. No, I don't need any packaging materials. No, I am good on stamps and other postage products. I finally paid and left. I glanced at my receipt. According to the receipt it was going to Elizabethtown, KY 42701. Unfortunately, I was mailing it to Zanesville, OH 43701. Again - how about we just focus on the job at hand and forego the other goods and services? I'll let you know where the taxes end up.
Sissy and I went on our annual Super Bowl Shopping Spree. It's funny how this annual event started with me just not wanting to be home during the Super Bowl and has evolved into me spending money on my daughter. Oh well. She's happy and I don't have to watch the game. Someone's happy!
Last year's shopping spree, for those of you that remember reading about it, my senses were assaulted! This year, either I've adapted to the music and the smells - but this year my good sense was assaulted - literally!
We went to a mall - and I think we ended up buying merchandise in 8 or 9 stores. Everything from department stores like Penneys to boutique type stores like Teaopia. We got some great deals and really, as much as I hate shopping - we did have a nice time. But, without fail - each time I approached a register to purchase our goods - the clerk tried to sell me something else. Not necessarily merchandise - but additional charge cards, service protection or in one bizarre case - theft protection. I declined everything but after about round 2 - it go annoying.
Just sell me what I want and leave me alone. I don't mind if the cashier says something like "did you see the shoes that match this purse?" - that's fine - maybe I didn't and we all know you can't have too many shoes. But don't ask me to buy a rewards card, insurance, give you my email address or fill out a survey. And while were on that - don't give me six different receipts with coupons that I have to spend $250 worth of jewelry at Sears to save $5.
Why do I get so uptight about all these offers? Glad you asked. I just want you to focus on what I am buying - not new goods and services. I had to go back to two stores because they forgot to remove the theft device. Another they forgot to run my gift card. And in the last, they didn't give me back my credit card. How about we just focus on the transaction at hand.
And these coupons.....bait and switch....I don't know what you want to call them. Especially Macy's. I do like Macy's - and shop there a lot - but they always send these coupons that at face value look fabulous. Save 20% shopping spree. Then you turn the coupon over and everything in the store is an asteric except for maybe clearance item underwear. What's the point? This particular day if you wore red - you were supposed to receive an additional 10% off your purchase. Only if you didn't use your Macy's card. What the hell.
How about just price everything the same for everyone? No special offers or discounts. Just one price for everyone that shops. It's not that hard.
Anyway, yesterday I went to the post office - probably hands down my least favorite place on earth. I'm sending my taxes to our accountant. It's a manila envelope full of papers. No, no explosives, liquids, chemicals. No delivery confirmation (HUGE SCAM), no insurance. No, I don't need any packaging materials. No, I am good on stamps and other postage products. I finally paid and left. I glanced at my receipt. According to the receipt it was going to Elizabethtown, KY 42701. Unfortunately, I was mailing it to Zanesville, OH 43701. Again - how about we just focus on the job at hand and forego the other goods and services? I'll let you know where the taxes end up.
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